Having to write with my non-dominant hand was a bit challenging this morning, but I wanted to complete the exercise. According to the study (Knowing God by Jim Laffoon) most of our embodied, emotional experience of God is guided by brain activity in our right brain, which is very neurally connected to our body. That may explain my connection with the spiritual realm because I’m a lefty, and why it seems easy to me to simply believe in God and all things spiritual. I use the right side of my brain often, it’s the left side that may be getting little to no use.
The next part of this exercise was to draw a picture showing what the Holy Spirit is speaking to me.
My walk with Christ for several years has been about controlling who or what I allow into my life. The spirit of the Lord revealed to me that the level of control I was operating in was rooted in a spirit of fear. Hence, the passage of study today in 2 Timothy 1:7. Fear of failing has crippled my mentality, my relationships and hindered my spiritual walk. There are so many gifts in me that have remained untapped because of my mentality to control. I now know it is a spirit of fear. Well, as the picture captures fear is no longer apart of me; it is at the altar and I put it there. I intend to leave it there and never visit it again.
I have power, love and a sound mind working in me through the power of the Holy Spirit, and all that He chooses to do through me I yield to it. That statement made me a bit emotional, because it means I’m giving up control and allowing the Lord to have complete access to all of me. It’s not just a declaration, but it’s a reality. I am yours Lord!
Now I wish to apologize to everyone I offended and robbed by not being fully invested in the work of the Holy Spirit because of fear of failing God and you. I apologize to my husband and children because my fear was not only controlling me, but affecting my interactions with you. I apologize to my natural parents because my fear caused me to pull away from you and not interact on any level that I feared would cause me pain. I apologize to my spiritual parents for allowing fear to rob the ministry of all of the gifts and talents God has given to me to help do the work of His Kingdom. Last, but not least I ask the Lord to forgive me of not fully trusting You with all of me. Let’s walk this out together and believe for the best end.
Jeremiah 29:11 NKJV
11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.